Two As In Tuesday

Two songs I can't get out of my head lately:

1) 1000 Tears of a Tarantula by Dengue Fever
Dengue Fever is a band out of California that is fronted by a Cambodian woman who came to Los Angeles after a successful karaoke career in Cambodia. I don't know what that means, but that's what it says on their wiki. Anyway, they started out playing mostly covers of '60s Cambodian pop songs, but they've been doing lots of their own stuff lately.

2) Interstate 8 by Modest Mouse
Heard this song about a few dozens times before I actually heard it. The part I enjoy most is in the middle when the woman sings with him and the lyrics get all loopy, just like the on/off ramps to an interstate.

I Get Up On My Soapbox

Last week for class, we had to introduce a Japanese song and then explain why you picked it. The song I picked was the theme song for Cutey Honey. The lyrics are as follows:

'Hey fashionable lady,
Hey small assed lady,
Please look my way.
C'mon... C'mon I said.'
'I'm begging, I'm really begging, please don't hurt me,
My heart is thumping.
No, no, no, don't stare--no!
Honey Flash'

'Hey popular lady,
Hey big breasted lady,
Please look my way.
C'mon... C'mon I said.'
'I'm begging, I'm really begging, please don't come closer,
My nose is twitching.
No, no, no, don't stare--no!
Honey Flash'

No here's my speech.

The song I chose is the theme song to the anime "Cutey Honey". Before I saw the anime, I heard this song. About two years ago, my friend sung it at karaoke. The atmosphere picked up, everyone got all happy, and since then I've liked the song. It's very fun, but the song's good points don't end there.

The anime is about an android that fights bad guys. However, if you read the lyrics before you see the anime, you'd think it's about a beautiful lady escaping from a stalker. The singer, that is to say the main character, begs twice, 'Don't hurt me' and 'Don't come closer'. It's as if perverted cameramen are chasing her around the world.

However, there's no need pity for the main character--she's an android! But what kind of android? Well, according to the lyrics, she's a 'small-assed' and a 'big breasted' android. As soon as you read these lines a couple questions come to mind. First, if you are such a genius you can make a android, why would you make a big breasted android? You should be thinking about how to protect the Earth from global warming, but instead you're in a department store shopping for bras.

The second question is, when the android is fighting bad guys, how is a small ass helpful? Just because someone has a fat ass doesn't mean they can't chase criminals. On the Help-Wanted ads for cops, it doesn't say, "No Fat Asses Need Apply".

In conclusion, I like this song because of the melody, the way it makes everyone happy, and because I've never heard this kind of a ridiculous song before in my life. You see, once I've heard the lyrics, I've never been able to forget them.

Is There Any Thing They Can't Do?

I'm talking, of course, about doughnuts. Which I tried to make. Twice. See:


This was actually Take Two. I didn't take any pictures of Take one on account of I was eating those things. I ended up with fifteen, and then ate two doughnuts a day until they were all gone. Then the next day, I made more. The recipe I used was Alton Brown's (see here). It's a good recipe, but nutmeg isn't really my go to flavor. I tried it the first time and it was good, but Take Two was to be cinnamon--was to be. They didn't quite make it--actually, after sitting in my apartment for a week uneaten, I finally threw that entire plate out. However, I learned a lot of lessons during the process of screwing up Take Two:

• No, a stand mixer isn't necessary, but when you get tired and think, 'Meh, they'll be fine.' you are dead wrong my friend. They will not be fine. You have to keep going.
  
• My thermometer isn't instant read, merely digital. This lesson was confirmed for me when I put it into a piece of chicken the thickness of a pancake I had been cooking for over ten minutes, and the thermometer tried to tell me it was only 80 degrees.
  
• The thought, 'If I roll them thinner, I can have more doughnuts!' should be ignored at all cost. You don't end up with more doughnuts, you end up with hollow bits of fried dough that form an egg shape because there's nothing there to hold it together (I'd say no center, but it's a doughnut and there's nothing in the center).
• Shortening stored in a Japanese apartment with thin walls is a bitch to squeeze out of the tube.
  
• 'Meh, that's enough oil' is another though which must be ignored at all times.
• A stand mixer, while not necessary, is highly suggested.
  

Where I'm Photoing From

America, X-mass 2009

I was greeted by snow. Lots of snow.




These were candy canes lined up like a runway for Santa, but instead looked like wounds.


Flyers sucked this night, then went out and won 4 in a row.


Two days later it rained and wiped the entire sheet out, but this day it was perfect.


Me and my nephew. He was wearing the little Santa outfit I got him for X-mass.


I think this was the 3rd set of gifts these two had to unwrap that day and it was only noon.


A Rudolph Chevy Aveo (It has antlers, too)


Finally, it wasn't all X-mass at home. I managed to get some Hanukkah celebrating in, too. Well, not really me, more like the car driving in front of us. (Sorry the pic isn't very good, but you get the gist--a rather large menorah was strapped to the roof of this mini-van)

Two As In Tuesday

The two dumbest things I've read in the comments section web postings lately:

1) I have Jim Palmer's autograph on a ball. All it cost me was admission to a minor league baseball game and a short lecture on heart disease or prostate cancer or some crap like that.

2) I covered Carter for Newsweek. The only difference is the lines at the gas station.

This is why I don't really read the comments section on these here interwebs.

Honey, I'm Home!

ただいま！

Where have I been the last month? Buying vests for household fixtures.


Why? Three words: no central heating

My bathroom is freezing and therefore my ass is freezing. Make that "WAS freezing".

By the way, the rug kicks all kinds of ass, too.

The end.

It's The Final Countdown

Last week, and yes, we have entered the Final Countdown. We're so close to X-mass, I've actually returned to America to oversee the final phase of construction, much like The Emperor did in Jedi, when he had made the decision to built his new Death Star next to a bunch of a muppets.

So yeah, I'm home. It's good to be back. But I didn't have a connection this year, I went straight to Newark Airport. So that kicks ass. No effing around at the airport. And I can finally relax after working 18 of the past 20 days. And studying Japanese. And watching old episodes of Top Gear. And taking pics of X-mass lights in Tokyo.

Speaking of which, here are the best exhibition I saw. Enjoy.

A X-mass ship sailing to... I got no fucking clue. The North Pole?

With the blue lights strung across, it appears as if it's actually underwater, a submerge ship.

X-mass love tunnel. I tell people this, but I don't know if (Or why, to be honest), people believe me: In Japan, X-mass is a couple's day. Strange part of that: they got no idea what mistletoe is. None. I thought that was odd.

It looked like a star of sorts.

X-mass sphere? I don't know.

Close up of the X-mass sphere.

X-mass gazebo? I don't know. But I know that from speakers around it, X-mass-ish music played and the lights turned on and off.

Under the X-mass Dome. I don't know if it shows up here, but one of the many patterns of lights flicking on and off: The Star of David. Does it get any more X-mass than that?

X-mass pegasi. Maybe Japanese people think pegasi carry Santa's sleigh instead of reindeer. By the way, here's a similarity between me and Japanese people. Neither of us know the names of the reindeer carrying Santa's sleigh. Different reasons, though.

Finally, this bear was actually advertising a circus that was in town, but since it was the season... X-mass bear. It looked like he got "mauled" by X-mass lights. I saw this and it gave me "paws". With all the bears lined up, it was quite a "grizzly" spectacle. I was so scarred, I clung to my "honey". Polar Bear.