Bullhorny

A few days ago, I post a link to this with the promise that I'd put a story up here which I was reminded of when I saw who was number one. Here's the story:

One day in high school, me and a bunch of others went to my friend's house to play NHLXX. I was playing Joe, who I think was the Flyers while I was some other team. Maybe the Brns. Anyway, in the middle of Joe and my headed NHLXX action, someone whipped out a toy bullhorn which played La-Cu-Ca-Ra-Cha when you pressed a button. They looked like they were having a lot of fun and I wanted to join them, but I was stuck in the middle of my NHLXX game. As they're passing it around, I said, "Hey! Stop playing with that!" Someone asked, "What, is it annoying you?" I said, "No, it looks like fun and if you don't stop playing with it now, when I finish this game you're all gonna be sick of it so I won't be able to play." I was laughed at, then again through the bullhorn--that hurt, man.

So the game continues and everyone else starts running out of funny lines to say through the bullhorn. I can just feel they're getting sick of it. One person announces he already is. This is during the third period of my game. I don't add anything to the conversation because it is some heated NHLXX action going on here and I was losing--that second period I was a bit too focused on the bullhorn and neglected the game. I tried my best, but I ended up losing. I hopped out of the playing seat directly in front of the TV and found an open space, then called for the bullhorn. One of my friends held it. He refused. He said everyone was sick of it already, just as I had predicted.

I said that was fine. Then the waiting game started. About five minutes later, he put the bullhorn down--I dove in and snatched it. Everyone groaned. I turned on the bullhorn, put it to my lips and started making fun of the guy who had beaten me at the NHLXX game. Someone laughed, but most of the crowd wanted me to put it away. When I finished my second insult, the guy nearest me made a grab for the bullhorn. He managed to seize the flared end, but I pulled away--too FAST! The mouthpiece smacked into my teeth so loud everyone could hear it. The rest of the crowd stopped and asked if I was okay. I checked my teeth, then brought the bullhorn to my lips and said, "ASSSSS-HOLE! ASSSSSSSSS-HOLE!!!!! ASSSSSSSS-HOLE!!!!"

To this day, whenever I get a bullhorn in front of me, that's the only thing I say before I get tired of it and put it down.